i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
40s are totally the cure
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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