Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
