im gay
i know
yea but for you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
