that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No stitches, just platelets and will power
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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