I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
