he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
