At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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