oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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