She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
