people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
