my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
