I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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