The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Boobs are out for the taking
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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