I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
