hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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