I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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