sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
