If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
