I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
