he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
