once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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