dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
