I wish life had little blips of pornography
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
