she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
