She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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