Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
