i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
should my penis look like a turkey
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
