in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my shit smells like andre
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
