i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
