he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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