The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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