1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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