there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
