dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
