I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize