Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize