at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
