Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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