I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
