So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
