my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Someone signed my nipple.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
