remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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