We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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