why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
