Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
