yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
