Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
