Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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