i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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