I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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