Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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