Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
