when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
