we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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