I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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