we're blogging at a bar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
