So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize