trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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