Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
