New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
