i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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