i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
