clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
