Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
