She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
