I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
