My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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