Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
