I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
