My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
